TONIGHT, I am going to do the unthinkable. I'm going to barrack for Collingwood! I'm even hoping it wins the premiership.
While I haven't made plans to take a seat alongside "Joffa" in the cheer squad yet, my usual ambivalence to the outcome of any game not involving the Western Bulldogs has been replaced with a strange desire to see Collingwood go all the way.
It doesn't feel like I've completely gone off the rails or that I'm experiencing a post-career meltdown.
Rather, I have an overwhelming sense that the football gods should allow Nathan Buckley to win a premiership before he retires.
This recent interest in the welfare of opposition players may originate from an intense feeling of guilt at having devoted my entire working life (14 years) to the pursuit of an AFL premiership and failing to get one.
I shared this feeling with Chris Grant in the closing weeks of this season. Chris is the best player I have ever played with. He is the Bulldogs' equivalent to "Bucks".
The great man revealed that he too had felt the same emptiness over recent times. It reminded me of how life-changing the next two weeks of AFL finals can be.
They provide a chance for some of the country's most talented and competitive athletes to fulfil their dreams.
Few players in the game's history have been more talented and more competitive than Bucks.
Sport, however, rarely delivers fairytale endings.
Many great champions of the game have finished stellar careers and joined the dreaded club of players to never win a premiership.
Bob Skilton, Gary Ablett, Tony Lockett, Paul Roos and Garry Lyon are stars who never achieved what they wanted most. It makes me feel that AFL football and life can be as much about timing as about talent.
Perhaps Lyon has taken a moment to imagine how different his career would have been had his home town of Kyabram fallen under Hawthorn's zone.
It is easy to argue that if this was the case, the Lyon trophy chest could have contained five premiership flags.
In my playing career, I have only been able to watch the finals through jealous eyes.
I would adopt a critical perspective, analysing opposition players for a weakness that could be exposed the following year.
But with retirement comes a sense of relief.
The war is over. It is now possible to let my guard down and acknowledge opposition players like Bucks for the superstar he is.
His on-field brilliance has been duly acknowledged by people far more qualified than me. However, I have found that Bucks is a champion off the field as well.
Nobody could have predicted the challenges and frustrations that Buckley was to face in 2007.
These challenges have revealed a different side to the man. At times he has looked vulnerable and despondent, even unsure of himself.
Predictably, he has found a way through, and he is now leading his brilliant young side into the most anticipated preliminary final in recent history. This season has looked at times like being Buckley's most forgettable. It might yet finish as his most memorable.
Good luck, Bucks — you deserve it!
